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November 25, 2005

第64話 闘病生活?(9:喘息)

 退院して2~3日後、夜中に突然の猛烈な咳き込みで目が覚めた。しかも今までとは違う状況だ。呼吸が出来ない。息を吐こうとすると気管が拒否してしまってどうすることも出来ない。出るのは苦しい咳だけだ。水をゴクンと飲むと、気管も開くのかその瞬間だけ息を吐ける。呼吸は吐かないと吸えない。だから息を吸い込んだままの状態になってしまい、次の呼吸が出来ないのだ。
 このような夜中の突然の発作が毎日続くようになった。肺炎から喘息に移行してしまったらしい。しかも日ごとに程度がひどくなってゆく。横になると特に症状が出やすいので、ベッドから降りて床に座りそしてベッドにもたれかかるように体を起こして眠るようにした。当然熟睡はできず、今度は日中眠くなる。そんな日が数日続いた。
 いつものようにこの日も夜中に発作は始まった。いくら喉をかきむしっても呼吸が出来ず、日本を離れこの地で3年、ついにここで死ぬのかとさえ思った。手元の携帯電話に手を伸ばし、知合いのフィリピン人に電話をした。彼は最近の私の状態を知っていたので、何かあったらいつでも自分に電話しろ、と言っていた。夜中だったが、彼は今すぐにセブドクターズに来いという。彼の友人のYという肺の専門家に頼んで病院に来てもらうから、すぐにでも来れるかと言うのだ。私には選択肢はなかった。

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